Marathon Training - Fisticuffs with my Gremlin

Ever since I have started training for my marathon, people have asked me to write about my training experience. A multitude of reasons have held me back. Time is at a premium and I rarely get time to do anything else apart from running. The second reason is my "Gremlin". If you have'nt heard of a Gremlin before, everybody has one and I introduce you to mine today.

When I started my training - I hated running. Yes, I have said it - I hated running. One of the reasons I am running the marathon is to honour the memory of my sister. The other is that I itched to fight my Gremlin. I expected my training to be nothing short of a massive struggle. I hated running, my knees hurt when I walked for more than a mile. I could not get up in the morning. There were more than a couple of reasons not to do it.
I viewed myself as a gladiator with a small knife being circled by a huge beast with no chance of survival. Actually that sounds too grand. I viewed myself as someone being fed to the lions in the Roman arena. I knew that I had it in me to fight the marathon beast for some distance but would eventually would be devoured. My estimate was that I could not go over 10 kms.

Couple of years ago, I read a book called "Taming your Gremlin" by Rick Carson. It talked about a nasty creature that sits on our shoulder, whispering to us in a sinister voice that we are going to fail, that we can never succeed, that we are weak. Gremlins are funny creatures, they come up when you least expect them. They may come in negative thoughts or they may decide that they need to be stronger than just thoughts and come to you as injuries, flu or just tiredness. They are very adaptable creatures - you know!

I have found that my gremlin has become all powerful, dictating everything that I do. Its got a life of its own, it seems like it is a 100 ton monster, beating me down. It is, I decided, time that I put up a fight .

Training for a marathon gives plenty of oppurtunity for your gremlin to show up: "Why are you running?", "Your feet hurt!", "Why getup at 6am on a weekend, when you never got up for anything else?", "Why are you running even though you are not feeling well", "You are not feeling well", "Here, you loser, take a stomach virus". These thoughts almost come up everyday.
The pain is there most times. There are days that I think that quitting is the smartest thing to do.

Thats what makes training fun, it is as much mental as it is physical. There are punches and then there are counter punches. The boxing match continues. Lately I have been landing some, last week I ran my first half marathon in San Francisco and this week I ran a 15 miler. It is not that the fight is over, but it does seem to be getting intense as my weekly runs are becoming longer. Training has become a journey within self and without. I have learnt that I have oodles more determination than I gave myself credit for. I have learnt that though my body may complain, it still will get up and do what I ask it to. I have learnt that though I can fight, it still is great to have support of family and friends. I have learnt that there is my ego that I need to be aware of and ignore. This fight is living upto what it had promised me. It is a great journey to know myself, physically, mentally and spiritually.

After the 13 miles run, the marathon beast has been reduced to half. David feels taller in front of Goliath :-) . The momentum of the fight seems to be shifting towards my favour. With momentum shifting, I feel, it is time to look inside and introspect. It is time to restart writing my blog. Time to document words of encouragement to self to keep going through the final weeks of training.

I recently read a comment that is attributed to Lance Armstrong: " It may pain for a day, a week, a month or a year. But if I quit it lasts forever. "

There may be a day, that I will quit. But today is not one of them.

Hoping to post many more...